Existentialism and the ballet

Here's the first Monday Aislin and I have been home alone together. Last week went pretty well -- we watched some movies and had a pretty good time. Over the weekend, the three of us got to see a bunch of family at my niece's ballet recital on Saturday, and our friend Maarika visited us for a bit on Sunday.

The ballet was "Beauty and the Beast." My niece Kaylynn was Belle. She moves with incredible grace and is really light on her feet. Kate and I agree that she's about outgrown the little studio she's a part of right now. The studio has been great to her, and she grew up in it, but she's a big fish in a little pond.

We slept in a little bit, so we were rushing the entire drive up to Hillsboro. We left Aislin in the care of my oldest niece, Cece. I was excited about this. Cece's in college, and what with a shifting family situation, we haven't seen very much of her. I had this sinister plan to get her to bond with Aislin and thus want to see us more. So far it has worked. Aislin got a little sunburned on her cheeks, but she was such an alabaster baby before and it cleared up almost completely by the next day.

Kate asked me yesterday if I knew who I was inside, or some philosophical question relating to identity like that. It's a question I struggled with for a while, and then ignored. I noticed I was a sponge, in that I absorbed the characteristics of my friends and repeated them. Once I noticed that, I became obsessed with being genuine. I still am, to an extent. But it's an interesting question, because I do feel like I spent so much time preparing myself for a life that I've been shut out from lately (teaching High School English), and now for a year I've been staying at home taking care of my baby, watching movies and playing video games. I've been doing a little reading, but mostly doing my best impression of a seriously lazy person. A person with little to no ambition. My friend Joel has said he can get me on at his work, which would double our income in our little apartment, but that would me I'd be working graveyard shifts. Is it worth it? Do I keep holding out for a teaching position next year? That's what I want to do, but is it because I'm enjoying being lazy, or is it because I've tied up so much of my identity preparing for such an occupation? I think it's the latter and the former is just an added benefit.

Thanks to all who have been supportive of my blog so far. I've really appreciated it. So much, in fact, I started another one. This one is called The Coterie Blog. It's pretty much an English Major's blog where writers can submit pieces of prose or poetry fiction or nonfiction whatever, and comment on them. If you've got a piece of writing you want posted... give it a try. I'm going to.